Ok, I've known I was gay for awhile now, and last few years I've really come to terms with it myself. There's still the matter of coming out to others though. Anyway... I'm currently in my final year of High School in Australia, with less than half a year left until my HSC (High School Certificate) before I leave and can then get into university. My grades are fine, but lately the issue of coming out has really been playing on my mind and I don't know when I should come out - now or wait until university - due to a variety of reasons: 1) Like I said, the thought is becoming a distraction. I mean, it's a selective school and the environment is fairly supportive, plus I feel like I have some good friends who I'd be able to tell first off, and my family doesn't seem overtly homophobic. It's more the reaction of the general community, acquaintances, etc, that I'm concerned about. That, and I don't want to necessarily lose any friends whom I wouldn't have expected to react negatively. 2) Graduation and the end of school Formal (or Prom I guess) is coming up. Obviously the whole date thing poses a problem. Even if I came out, I doubt I'd be at a stage by then to bring a same-sex date, especially since I don't exactly know many gay people my age anyway. Then there's the option of just going with a girl date who would presumably be a friend, but of course I wouldn't really know how to act in that situation considering my orientation, and I wouldn't want things between me and said friend (whoever I theoretically ended up taking) becoming awkward once I come out. Third option would be to go alone and just hang out with friends and their dates, but... I don't want to be "that guy who just hangs out with everyone else's dates" whilst being alone myself. Hard to explain, but I don't exactly want to be a third wheel on the night. 3) My grades. Like I said earlier, my grades are quite good at the moment. Though the thought is becoming distracting when I should be focusing on other things, however. Plus, I don't want some unforseen reaction from people at school/family affecting my grades, and in turn myself, so close to my final high school exams and getting my UAI for university admission. I just don't want any problems/issues that may or may not arise from coming out affecting my end of schooling and then, ultimately, my future after that in terms of university courses, etc. Sorry for the lengthy question, but ultimately it boils down to - when considering the above concerns - should I come out before or after I graduate? Even if the thought is still playing on my mind until then if I choose not to...
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
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1 :
Wait until after high school to officially "come out"--you can tell a few trusted friends now if you want, but don't actually be OUT until after high school. Wait to tell your family once you're attending a university. Regarding prom, do you have any female friends you can really trust? If so, come out to one of them and ask if she'd like to go to prom as friends. If the relationship with her was already platonic, it shouldn't matter if she knows you're gay.
2 :
you will know when the time is right it wont be a thought it will be a feeling until then try telling ur best friend and just remember your family may not seem homophobic but no one wants their child to be gay so it may take them awhile to wrap thier heads around the idea best of luck
3 :
If you can keep it to yourself or only to your family and close friends so much the better. Just come out when there's not more conflicts ahead.
4 :
It just depends on whether you think that you can do what you want when you are out of the closet, if you think it will interfere with school don't do it. If you can get over it and continue on with life then go for it, I would! :)
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